“Minds don’t rest; they reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider because it’s like this, having a mind. Hearts don’t idle; they swell and constrict and break and forgive and behold because it’s like this, having a heart. Lives don’t last; they thrill and confound and circle and overflow and disappear because it’s like this, having a life.” – Kelly Corrigan, Author Tell Me More 

A few months ago someone shared a photo memory of either their father or grandfather on the anniversary of their birthday. I remember one of the comments was talking about how when someone is no longer with us we remember them everyday, but on two days specifically, their birthday and the day they passed.

Last year when Heath first passed away, during that crazy first week of shock, denial and anger I remember how much I was sharing on Facebook. About a week after, one of those Facebook Memories popped up and I realized at that exact moment, “Holy shit, a year from now, all of these memories are going to be popping up in my news feed”. It is crazy to think that here we are, a year later.

I have been reminded a couple of times in the past couple of weeks that one day doesn’t mean anything, or everything in this case. Yesterday while talking with a very dear and respected friend we talked about the fact that Thursday isn’t going to feel or be any different than Wednesday and the 365th day isn’t any different than day 364, 5 or 5000.

I thought I would use this space to share a couple of really great memories that I can look back on with a smile. Each experience in life creates the shape of our lives. When life is good, be grateful. When life isn’t as good, continue to be grateful.

Here are just a few of the memories that I am so very grateful for.

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Mexican Riviera Cruise – October 2016 – Heath booked at the very last minute, and our group went from four to five. Two of our three ports of call ended up getting cancelled so we had a lot of time on the ship together. We all spent many hours talking, laughing, eating and getting to know each other. I had met Heath very briefly in Oklahoma City in 2015 but taking this cruise was a great opportunity to add a new friend into my circle.

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16+30 Birthday Party – February 2017 – I had a really fun and crazy idea to celebrate the 30th anniversary of my sweet 16. Heath was able to come to Toronto for the weekend and what a great birthday weekend that was. My friend that came on the cruise with me, along with Heath made such a memorable birthday weekend not just sharing in the birthday party, but all the great things we did over the weekend.

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Stush in the Bush – Jamaica – April 2017 – I saw this crazy amazing video about the organic Rasta Farmer and his wife and booked the trip to Jamaica based on going to this farm. Crazy, right? WRONG! Our hotel had a gas explosion the afternoon we arrived, we had to move hotels, it rained every single day, except for the day we went to the farm. It was by far the best ‘excursion’ I have ever done in the Caribbean.

So many amazing experiences but I will stop here. I think I will save them for the book that everyone thinks I should write.

I told my friend yesterday that it wasn’t so much that it has been 365 days since Heath has been gone. It is that it has been 364 days since our last conversation. Banter, we were professionals at banter. It was the routine and the mundane. It was the angst about work situations, family situations, car situations, and everything in between. It was laughter, lots of it. and lots of swear words. and LOTS of crazy Southern slang sayings and words.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that the author of the quote at the start of this post was on the Today Show this morning. The book is called Tell Me More and her name is Kelly Corrigan. I have never heard of her until today, but she does have a few books out, and I will be ordering this one this week. As she read the above passage from the book I couldn’t help but feel like she was talking directly to me today.

Call a friend tonight. For the simple fact that you can. Live conversation has become a lost art in 2019, and it is shame. I am sure that you are thinking about someone right now that you WISH you could have one more conversation with. I know I am .

Thanks for reading y’all,

Lisa