Someone described the grief process like waves – in the beginning the waves are high and they come fast and crash down over you. In time, like the tide the waves go in and out and they aren’t always crashing around you.

In keeping with this metaphor, I experienced what I would call a Tsunami. Two of them actually. Unlike a real tsunami, there was no warning, a blind spot. A trigger that I could not have expected, both times.

The first time was last Monday at work. An email came in from the staff trip team advising me that it was time to pay the deposit for the trip to Kenya. I opened up the email, read it all the way through to the point where I had to put my credit card in for the deposit. I couldn’t do it. I know I WILL do it, but I wasn’t ready.

My friend had sent me her daily check in text at that moment. It came at the right time and I was okay. Until I looked at my phone list. I didn’t see Heath’s name. Tsunami. It hit me that his name would move further down the list as time went on. I couldn’t stop the tears and just put my head down on my desk.

After some time, I started to take deep breaths and survived the wave. I am not going to lie, it was rough.

The second one happened Sunday night. I went to the movies. I love going to the movies. I think that escaping for a couple of hours into whatever genre of movie you enjoy is necessary and good for your health.

Popcorn, chocolate and freestyle pop in hand off I went to see Crazy Rich Asians. Opening scene when they arrive in Singapore is of the Marina Bay Sands Hotel.  When Heath and I were in Savannah we watched a show on Netflix called Amazing hotels, life beyond the lobby. They went behind the scenes of this hotel.

The movie was very enjoyable. Laughs, love, angst, all your typical Rom-Com ingredients. I love Rom-Com so that works for me. As the final scene ends, and the credits start to roll, Tsunami. That I was actually having a good time. I wasn’t going to be talking to Heath about seeing the hotel in the movie that we saw the show about. Tears. Couldn’t get up to leave the theatre.

I am very self aware and realize that this is normal. This is going to continue to happen. That is why they are called blind spots. We don’t know what we don’t know. Some days will be like Tsunamis and other days will be low tide. In time, there will be days where my feet don’t even touch the waves. I will wait for those days. For now, the waves are sill high and crashing over me.

Live your best life,

Lisa