For the past two years I have been celebrating the High Holidays at Beit Rayim Synagogue. It was the first time that our family attended services together, which made the experience extra special.

When it is time to take out the Torah’s for the Torah portion of the service,  Rabbi Zionce has a special method for the fifth Aliyah of the service. For the other honours they are done in the Shule by a lottery system so more people can have the honour of the prayer. He saves one for someone in the sanctuary, maybe a new member, non-member, newly Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

I watched the crowd of about 1500 people on the first day and how people seemed shy to volunteer for the honour. Someone finally did and the service continued.

The second day when it came time to ask for volunteers, I found myself throwing up my hand. The Rabbi looked over at me and said sold to you, come up to the front seats. I think I shocked my mom (myself as well) but there I was, committed to being the fifth Torah honour that day.

Each time the prayers were read by the people ahead of me I said them as well awaiting my turn. I was working through the melody in my head thinking that I am not just saying to myself at my seat but to the whole congregation. I admit I was pretty terrified but what could I do, I had committed to it. When it was my turn I went up to the centre of the auditorium and kissed the Torah with the Cantor’s tallit and began to sing the blessings. Before I knew it, it was over. The fear before stepping up to the ‘stage’ was gone and out came my voice. I couldn’t really hear myself but my mom said it was a beautiful voice.

I walked back to my seat with my family. My mom smiled at me and gave me a hug and kiss. She was so surprised that I volunteered. I remember a scene in the movie We Bought a Zoo where the dad is telling his son that all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and that is exactly the way it felt.

I know that my niece will become a Bat Mitzvah this coming February. I will be beaming along with her family and friends as she celebrates this special milestone in her life. Maybe I will have another opportunity to be blessed with the honour that was bestowed upon me this past Rosh Hashana.