As I approach the end of the year 5769 I have been thinking about how our lives are defined by the events that occur and what happens after those events and how it relates to our life and changes it. Think back, and if it relates to you where you were when, just to name a few:
– JFK, Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King.
– Challenger blowing up in 1986, and Discovery 2003
– The Tsunami 2004, Hurricane Katrina 2005
– 9/11

For me, my event this year was my car accident – February 21st, 2009. I don’t really have memories of the year prior to that date, but so many since that date. It is amazing how in a split second in time our life is forever changed.

I spent the last six months recovering from my car accident. It is not just the six months of therapy that I just completed, which I am very grateful for. I have known people in my life who have become addicted to pain killers after an accident and thought to myself, “man, I don’t ever want to live in chronic pain in my life”. Well, my left arm is like a dull ache, pretty much all the time. Some days I can ignore it, other days I know that it is there. When the weather changes, after working out, when I spent hours and hours each day trying to make a living at my computer.

I spent the last six months learning about friendship. How serious events can either really help a friendship, or hurt it. I have had both. People have choices that they have to make as it relates them in the situation – do I stay, step up and be the friend that the person needs, or do I run and hide from the reality of the situation and bury my feelings in my own life and needs of my own. I have friends who have done both.

And most recently (in July 2009) I was faced with my own choice of “should I stay or should I go now?” A very dear friend, as most of you know, is now facing the challenge of her own life, fighting and surviving AML Leukemia. The day that she told me about her diagnosis, again, is a moment this year that I will never forget. It moved February 21, 2009 out of the front of my brain for the first time in months and let me think about something (and someone) else.

I always say, that every action has a reaction, and people need to find ways to go through life and learn from their actions and reactions. “Pay it forward” is what its called. What you can do for others and the gratification that you get from it.

A few months after my accident, I was at the drive through Tim Horton’s and paid for the order of the person behind me. I have heard of people doing that, but I never have. You know what, it feels good. For those of you who don’t know, two men actually got me out of my car before the police and EMS arrived. I don’t know who they were and never will. So, for this I say thank you and do unto others.

Offering to spend time visiting a friend in the hospital, helps the family of the loved one. So, you read your book and watch your friend sleep, just so you can be the face that they see when they wake up. That is paying it forward. Because the reality of the situation is you can’t really do a freaking thing for this person or their family other than that. Stand up, be present and be there. Don’t run away because of your own fears. Helping others actually helps you come to terms with your fears.

Don’t get me wrong, I have had so much good in my life since February 21st, 2009 as well. I took two amazing trips – to NOLA (New Orleans) in march with another dear friend, and more recently to Vegas with my parents. Both trips, ironically enough, happened shortly after the two life altering events in my life this year. Both trips helped me cope with the life changes and made me escape, if just for a few days, and laugh, smile and enjoy life.

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention how you can see the hopes and dreams of the future when you look at children. My two nieces amaze me every moment I am with them. In the last few weeks I have seen my 4 1/2 year old niece morph into this incredible ‘mature’ young girl, who took me to Claire’s boutique the other night to look at earings (she doesn’t have her ears pierced), braclets, necklaces, and make up. We went shopping yesterday, and she walked over the rack and pulled a top off and said, “Auntie Lisa, this is your favourite colour, you would look beautiful in this.” So many moments just blow me away. She took me to her room last night, to show me her new ‘lipstick’ – princess lip balm. And my other niece, who will be 3 in a few short weeks is mastering the art of toilet training and starting school. There is such pride in her face when she pees in the toilet and the high fives and praise she is giving from everyone around her. These are the moments I will keep close to my heart always.

So, now we move onto to our new year – the year 5770 and what lies ahead for all of us, really is a mystery. We will go and pray over the next few weeks and repent for our wrongdoings this year and then pray for us to be sealed in the book of life for the upcoming year. That probably means more to me this year than others.

Spend the next few days before Rosh Hashana thinking about the past year and what has happened in your life. Was there a life altering event, or something that happened that made you stop in your tracks and go, “hmm, I wonder what all that was about”. Were you present in your life? What lessons did you learn and how will that change what you do moving forward?

This is my new years greeting to you – Shana Tova U’Metukah – may we all rejoice with our family and friends and enjoy a healthy, happy and properous new year!