Dear V,

Before I start, you are going to have to forgive me if I go back and forth between my thoughts today. I have so many things in my head that I want to say and I hope that they all come out as I intend them to.

I was out with a friend yesterday, and we were talking for a couple of hours. We talked about all kinds of things, back and forth, listening and sharing about friendship, the good, bad and ugly of life and loss as well.

I shared with her that today would be the 10th anniversary of you not being with us here in this world. She said something that I know that I have thought about as well, but it really does make sense. People never really get over mourning the loss of someone that they love, but it changes over time.

Over the past several weeks I have been cleaning out my home office to get ready to work from home. Of course you never saw my condo, because I moved here eight years ago. I guess now that I think about it, you knew that I had bought a condo because it was February 2004 that I put my down payment on my apartment.

There were a few instances that I ‘stumbled’ across reminders that even though you were never here, you are always here. Like an article that was written about you in the Toronto Star after your passing. About your passion for dedication and zest for life. Like the “program” (for lack of another word) from your funeral service. Like the words that Matthew read at your service. Like a postcard that you wrote to the “Silvers” when you were travelling in Australia and New Zealand. Like a really cool pin that you gave me on my 30th birthday.

Matthew wrote about mourning what we LOST, but really should have been thinking about what we gained while you were here. That was something that my friend and I talked about yesterday.

I am just sitting here now thinking you have been gone ten years. I think I met you when you were 20 so that would mean that you were in my life for ten years. Strange to think about all the things we experienced together in the ten years that you were here, and all the things WE have experienced in the ten years that you have been gone.

I did tell my friend yesterday that you were like the sister I never had. I hadn’t really thought about it that way, but I guess that was how I thought of you. I do wonder about what it would be like today.

Matthew said that you were always so busy with so many things yet everyone always said that you had time for them. For a phone call, a movie, a dinner. You would have LOVED the new smart phone technology. Even though most people don’t talk “live and in person” anymore, we are more connected electronically then you could imagine. There are amazing ‘talk’ tools like BBM, Whatsapp, texting, and this phenomena called Facebook. All of that keeps people connected.

People like you. I am sure that you would have at least 1000 friends on Facebook today if you were on it. You would probably have embraced it, showing your life to the ones that you can’t connect with live every day but want everyone to be a part of your spirit, your love and zest for life that you always had.

I would have loved to stay in touch with you in our virtual world. I have no doubt that we would have always “liked” each others travel photos, foodie photos and stories.

Today is #TBT which is when people post photos of “back in the day” much before the digital age of photography. I hope you don’t mind the photos I will share today.

They are for you. Of you. And the spirit that is greatly missed.

Take care my friend.

Until we meet again,

Lisa