Wow, two posts in one day. Yes. I thought I would just give a follow up to my post this morning regarding the things I have learned about being a parent. I thought it would be fair to give my opinion on the flip side – being a non parent.

I had brunch today at my brother’s house. There were several adults and six kids ranging in age from 9 to a few months old. I am sure many of you attended a brunch/lunch or dinner that was similar to my experience this morning.

I had a great time. I ate outside with my nieces, nephew and the their cousins. They played, I watched. I was wearing my Pandora bracelet and they wanted to know the history and story behind each charm. I always cherish every moment I have with them and today wasn’t any different.

They were all going to Wonderland to get their passes in order. Of course my older niece asked if I could come with them. I told her I don’t have a pass. She said, but if you got one you could come with us. If you are a regular reader, you know how I feel about last year’s Wonderland pass situation. I told her that I would try to come with them over the summer at least once.

As I was on my way home, I thought it would be crazy not to be outside on this beautiful day. My balcony faces north so there really isn’t any sun that I could take advantage of, unless I went to the park outside my building. Which is exactly what I did.

Changed my clothes, grabbed my Ipod, a book, a snack and decided I was still “on vacation” and added vodka to my orange juice thermos and off I went.

For the next hour and a half I was alone in the park (for the most part), with my music, book, and myself. I am aware of the fact that parents of young children don’t get time like I had this afternoon. I have said it before, that my time is my own, I don’t have to share it with anyone. I don’t take that for granted. 

Facebook is flooded with messages from children to their moms, moms to moms, about moms, moms to be. Everything all about mothers and mother’s day today. Of course I took the time to share a message of love to my mom.

It was the one update from a friend of mine that really touched my heart and prompted me to write today:
“Mothers – although I am not a real one – I have been blessed with 3 true loves in my life – because of you – I know a little bit about what a joy being a Mom can be.
I have been so lucky to have had family and friends that have shared their lives with me – I know how committed you are to your families – that you would do anything for your children – sacrifice it all – you have made me so proud to be in your presence – my respect and love for Mothers is endless – keep up the good work.”

For those who know me, I am sure the title threw you off a bit. What is she talking about, she doesn’t have kids. No, I don’t. But, again, for those who know me, know that motherly instincts don’t come just from having a child, or children. They come from within, and some nurture them and they come out in life, and others do not.

As I have said in many past posts, I like to entertain and host friends in my condo. I have an IKEA ‘cube’ shaped book shelf that houses all the books that I love to read, a sculpture my grandfather made for me, and more, but in two of the cubes, there are two baskets. One basket is filled with children’s books and the other with stuffed animals and toys. It does seem odd since I don’t have kids, but I do have two nieces and a  nephew, and many friends that bring their children to my home. I want them to be happy when they are here. That way, the adults can enjoy their time together and the kids will be happy. The last time I had a couple of friends over, I asked the four year old daughter, “would you like to sit on my bed and watch Treehouse?” Instant connection.
 
Do you know anyone that doesn’t have children, but has a booster seat in their trunk at all times? Yes, that would be me. I am not a mom, but I am an Aunt, and a very present one if I do say so myself. I love getting phone calls from my nieces asking me to come over and spend some time, or asking me to come to their dance class, or can they come for a swim. You never know when I am going to be needed to take one of them somewhere, so I need to ensure that I have a booster seat. A grandparent is probably used to car seats and boosters because they are often called on for carpool assistance, but an aunt, especially a ‘non mom’….maybe not. 

When my nieces come over to visit, they know that my office is home to all things arts and crafts. Markers, crayons, glue, coloured paper, you name it. I called it camp Auntie Lisa, and have already made a plan with my niece when her sister is away at overnight camp that she will come over and we will have our own special camp time. In all fairness, I have always been creative, and have always had all of this in my life (I even worked at a craft store in the mall during high school), but now that there are children in my life, I can say that it is because of them (wink, wink).

Being in the travel industry for almost 25 years has its advantages. Some of the perks that are earned by agents are discounts on hotels, cruises, tours etc. Some of the perks include free nights at all inclusive resorts. I don’t really have much interest in travelling alone, so I ask my friends if they want to go away. They pay for their flight, and the rest is covered. It is a great offer, yet hard to get a yes from people.

I am very aware of the fact that it is not that easy for a mom to get away. I have written before about my ability to be flexible, and that comes through in my search for travelling companions. I appreciate that my mom friends can’t leave their lives for a whole week. That is why I ask them for a short trip, weekend away, three or four nights at the most. Carpool, after school activities, family life is very full and needs to stay in routine to make it all work. I appreciate all of that, but I also know from many years of watching and observing, everyone, learns to adapt to a changing situation. It doesn’t come natural, but it does happen if given the chance. It also takes time, and I understand that as well. Friends in my life know that there is an open invitation to travel. You need to tell me when you are ready to let go and come away with me, and we will go. It is really as simple as that.
 
I wanted to end with another quote that I just read on facebook which I think sums up how I feel about motherhood vs. womenhood:
“Happy Mother’s Day to ALL the women out there that have loved, guided, mentored, supported, educated, wiped away tears and given a good kick in the ass when needed. Being a mom is not defined by a biological connection but rather by knowing there is a woman who will always be there for you. I’ve been blessed with several of those in my life, and you know who you are”

I hope you all have a happy day today whatever you do. Celebrate your moms, grandmothers, sisters and aunties!

Live your best life,

Lisa