We know about school yard bullies – kids that don’t play well with others, pick on those who may be not as strong or agile as they are, or in the classroom to those who may not be as wise as another child.

We know about cyber bullying – those who use social media to attack others. A lot of the time it is because they can be ‘anonymous’ and you criticize others, be rude, mean and abusive because, hey, it’s the internet. I can hide behind my computer and say what I want, what are you going to do to me?

And then there are those who take to the phones to be bullies. You know, the ones that don’t hear the answer they are looking for, or have been hung up on by someone else and then you are the next point of contact. For whatever their reasons could be, they turn to behavior that I would consider to be more than just bullying, but abusive.

Recently I have had experience with phone bullying. I am not sure what sets people off to behave in a way that would bring someone to tears. To be yelled at in such a way that you can’t even complete a sentence and have a conversation. To make you shake and be uncertain of what to do next. To be sworn at and then hung up on. That one I felt was cowardly, tell someone to F-off and then hang up on them. You are the big girl on the playground that needs the last word.

I wonder if these phone bullies have children? What messages are they sending to them? What messages were they taught as children? I wonder. I just do.

I didn’t write this piece, but a friend posted this and I thought it was a great read and analogy.

The Train of Life

At birth we board a train and meet our parents. We believe they will always travel by our side. However, at some station, our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone.

This time of the year is at time for thought and introspection. As the photo says above, on Rosh Hashana it is written and on Yom Kippur it is sealed. I was just in the car this morning and was in my own thoughts and I thought I would share this story of forgiveness on the eve of the Day of Atonement.

A few months ago I received a private message on facebook from someone that I was no longer in contact with. The message was a very personal message that I know took a lot of thought and introspection to write to me. It was a time to realize how far we have come as people and that time does help us move forward. The things that I was once very angry about, about what was done “to me” moved to be something now that I can look back on as that was one moment in our lives. Moments in time can change our paths and direction but they don’t define us.

I did tell this person that they can move forward from this time in their life as well. That even though we may not be in each others lives the way we once were, that the time that we once had we learn from.

It is okay to ask for forgiveness and accept it when it is asked of you in return. It doesn’t always mean that you will rekindle a relationship with that person, maybe you will and maybe you won’t. It does allow you to move forward in your own life and putting each chapter of the book of your own life into perspective.

On this eve of the day of Atonement I will end with this:

“To all those who I hurt or offended in any way, gave you too much or not enough attention, disrespected or didn’t judge to the good– please, please forgive me. I am trying, but always imperfect. Here’s to a year where we all rise!”