Everyone can make a difference

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Last September I decided to participate in the Shoppers One Walk to Conquer Cancer raising money to benefit Princess Margaret Cancer Centre. No, I didn’t walk the 25 km one day event (I know many who did) but as a part of a sweep team. A few of my friends have been doing it for years, one a breast cancer survivor and one with a lot of reasons in her personal life and I decided it was time to be part of something bigger.

It was raining as we arrived downtown to decorate our sweep team van that would be pink1spending the better part of the day in. Apparently it always rains. Maybe it is a good sign if it is raining, the higher power is speaking to us. Adversity makes you stronger. Sweep vans are driving the route ‘sweeping’ up walkers who need anything, a bottle of water, a snack, some moral support and a ride to the next stop on the route, we were there.

The sweep teams have themes and they decorate their vans and make them visible around the city. Our van was Halloween and I had a great time with all kinds of stickers, skeletons, even all kinds of candy in the van. It was going to be a great day with friends and supporting the walkers who are all there for their own reasons. That was evident every where you turned.

Groups of people walk together. They walk in memory of loved ones, survivors and those who didn’t survive. There are t-shirts with photos on them, women (and men) walking with bras on the outside of their shirts, ‘pink’ teams. Each and every one of the people I saw had a reason to be there. I don’t know anyone that has not been affected by cancer.

We drove around for a while after the day started and made our first pit stop visit. It was after that it was time to make our way to PMH. I was quite apprehensive to step out of the van when we first got there. If you have not experienced the walk before, the impact of arriving at the hospital takes your breath away.

Doctors, nurses, patients, families, they are there and they are cheering, loudly. Imagine pink3coming into the stadium at the final stretch of the Olympic Marathon. A bit dramatic, but not really. There are signs, lots and lots of signs, up and down the barricades.

There was this amazing wall that said I’M WALKING FOR and there were hundreds, maybe thousands of names of survivors, people who lost their battles, family members, friends. It was completely overwhelming. I was crying even before I got out of car as we walked up to the hospital.

pink7The doctors were standing on the steps of the hospital and there are bells ringing. that is very symbolic for Princess Margaret. The bell is called The Bravery Bell and if you don’t know what that is, it is the bell that you ring on your last day of chemo treatment. Maybe you know someone who has had the chance to ring the bravery bell.

The day was filled with great stories, and seeing people you know and shouting out the windows of the van, honking the horn and getting to yell at the top of your lungs, “let’s kick cancer in the ass”.

Lunch was at this amazing park and there were lots of fun vendors, give aways, and a chance for the walkers to catch their breath, put some band aids on their sore and aching feet and get up the strength to continue on.

Every time you make a decision to step out of your comfort zone and do something selfless instead of selfish, it makes you a better person. For a day I was there to support others who were being selfless and making a difference. One person can make a difference. There will always be fundraising needed in the world we live in. You can be a fundraiser and support with money and you can support with words of encouragement and be a part of the global picture of humanity.

 

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Today is #BellLetsTalk, so let’s do that

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Today is #BellLetsTalk day. It is a day to bring awareness on Mental Health issues. I don’t know about you and the friends that you have, but with a lot of different people in my life this is an ongoing topic of conversation. We are having #bellletstalk daily.

Life is challenging. Not all people think that they have mental health issues, but I think more do than they realize. Have you ever just felt like not getting out of your pajamas or taking a shower? How about not wanting to go out with your friends or talk on the phone? How about crying for would appear to be no apparent reason? How about feeling like every one you know is moving and you are standing still? Well guess what, those are mental health issues.

We all have bruises. Some are visible but others are not. Sometimes it manifests itself outwardly like passive aggressive behaviours on social media. Maybe you have done it and not even realized your comment was exactly that. Sometimes what you don’t say is almost as important as what you do say. Passive aggressive comments on facebook are more often than not written for a reaction, a “like” or a comment. Your friends will give you the “rah rah” cheer of approval. Others may look at it and know that it is more than that.

One of the things that happens sometimes is that people get pushed away. While it is true that everyone has their problems, everyone’s are their own and different. There is a saying that if everyone put all their problems in one big pile you would be guaranteed to take yours back. That may very well be true.

Reaching out is hard. While you are going through whatever it is you are going through, you may not really want to hear about your friend’s issues, whatever they may be. You need to keep trying. Friends often tell you what you want to hear, not necessarily what you need to hear. Tough love isn’t easy to give or receive. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and reactions. Sometimes you even get unfriended on Facebook or stop calling or your phone stops ringing.

I am trying to say a lot of things, without being too specific. It is hard. Ellen Degeneres ends her show every day ‘be kind to one another’. I would also say not to give up on your friends that may have dropped off the grid for a while. Since today is #BellLetsTalk day, reach out and send a message to just one person. If everyone reached out to one of their friends today, think about the impact of that.

Live your best life,

Lisa

#Keeping it together 2.0

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The weekend of October 23 – 24th was the Shabbos Project. This weekend has become a global initiative for Jewish People all over the world to participate in and enjoy the beauty and depth of keeping Shabbat. The event weekend started on Thursday night where thousands of women around the world participated in the mitzvah of Challah. I attended last year, which was a wonderful meaningful experience.

Shabbat is the very heart and soul of the Jewish people

Once again this year I decided to spend Shabbat with my friends in the Thornhill Woods Shul community. I have spoken in many posts about this community and how amazing they are. It is a place where I can walk in by myself and feel at home. There aren’t a lot of places I like to go on my own, but this is one of them. I never really feel alone there.

Upon walking into the building, I was greeted by one of the event co-ordinators. He greeted me warmly and said, “So nice to see you again. We need to do this more than once a year”.  The next person I met in the hall was one of the Rabbis of the Shul. The husband of the Rebbitzen who accepted me on the JWRP trip to Israel that I took in Jun 2012. He also said, “It is so nice to see you again this year”. Within minutes of arriving I instantly felt I was amongst friends. Hugs and catching up with some of the women in the community. Then it was time for learning.

Shabbat is the mitzvah that has held the Jewish people together for thousands of years.

The two classes I participated in were completely different yet were intertwined in the thoughts put forward. The first one was Jew-ish – our uncomfortable relationship with Jewish identity, and the second was Stepping out to step up – Foundation for building my Judaism.

What does it mean to be Jewish vs. Jew-ish? What do we mean when we say we are “Culturally Jewish”? There were a lot of interesting questions raised during this discussion. Why are we more comfortable for example if someone says they are becoming a vegan than if someone says that are going to start eating Kosher? If you want to ask me more about this discussion, you can send me a message and we can talk about this wonderful talk. My only regret – that the talk wasn’t long enough.

Shabbat is a mitzvah with a special power and resonance for our times. It can hold Jewish families together in a society where everything seems to be pulling us apart.

After services and learning, there was lunch. The event organizers created a banquet hall event space, with table cloths, centerpieces, chair covers and set seating. It was really a special meal to be shared with the community. I was grateful to be sitting with two families that I know well as well as a few that I had never met before. What a great meal it was. Challah, chicken, kugel, salad, and a beautiful dessert display.

We had a table discussion revolving around the following question: If there were a pill that would induce a constant state of happiness with no dangerous side effects, would you take it? Lots of interesting discussion around the table.

After lunch was over we walked back to my friends house to spend time together. Once we arrived at the house, their 6 year old daughter was so excited to read a book with me. A book about the Torah Parshas. We started to read together a Torah study book for children. With the chapters broken down by the Torah portion, and then questions at the end of each chapter. It was just between her and I and I let her be the leader (the Morah) and teaching me what she knows. It was fully engaging and so fulfilling. Another blessing about Shabbat, time to engage each other. Disconnect to connect.  

Another family came over and we talked a lot. We also ate the Seudah Shleshis (the third meal). After that Shabbat was over. My friend went for evening services and then when he came home we said the beautiful Havadallah prayers. Since Shabbat was over before he left for services he had me repeat:

Baruch Ha-mavdil Bein Kodesh L’Chol
“Blessed is The One Who distinguishes between the holy and the regular”.

It is customary to say Shavua Tov at the end of Shabbat or even on Sunday morning. It means to have a good coming week.

Shabbos restores us, not just in a physical sense, but emotionally and spiritually as well, so we emerge on Saturday night as new human beings ready to face the week with all its challenges and opportunities.

I felt that. I felt very connected after spending the day connecting with myself and others on spiritual, personal and emotional. I know it is always an open invitation – after all they do joke that they are there every week.

Thank you for reading and I would love to hear your comments. Please feel free to share this story of my wonderful Shabbos Project experience. It may come weekly, but it is always special.

Life your best life,

Lisa