We are having difficult conversations. We are speaking out in a way that is long overdue. Where are we? Who are we? What is your story? How did you get here or there, and how do you want your story to be told?
I remember when people heard that I left WE they were shocked. People would say, “I thought this was the perfect job for you”, or “You finally found a great place”. I would reply very politically correct saying, it is a great place, I just didn’t have the right team to work with. I never told ‘general’ public what happened during my time there.
The truth is I was bullied in the work place. I remember the day I sat in the directors office and said the word bullied. She looked at me and said, “now that you have said that you know we have to have some different conversations”. Did we? No, we didn’t.
This person was talked to, but I knew in my heart that nothing would change and inevitably it would come down to her or me leaving the org. I knew it would be me, because this person directly reported to the top.
A long time ago, a mentor of mine was describing to me about the corporate work flow and said simply, “shit only flows one way”. It doesn’t matter what it was in reference to, but more of the point about message about treatment from the top down in a company that has a problem at the top.
While texting with another former employee of the organization that I had an ‘a-ha’ moment about how I had been treated by this employee. She was treating me the way she was being treated and wanted to ensure that I received the same message. I can’t be sure of anything, nor does it matter now, but in light of what I am hearing I can speculate. This person said that her treatment of you is hers to own and I hope she will apologize to you someday. That won’t happen, nor do I need it to. I think that this post will be that for me. I thought I had put it behind me, but like I learned in Landmark, life has blind spots. You don’t know what you don’t know.
I asked for an exit interview. Now that I look back on it, it was a joke. The HR business partner said she would take notes for future discussions, which she took none. They were not there to support me through any of the process after I said I was bullied. On top of the hour I spoke about why I was leaving, how the department was badly managed, she thanked me for my comments, wished me well and said she would have further conversations on how to improve the team moving forward.
When my final pay was incorrect the following week later I emailed the same HRBP and was quite surprised to see that her out of office said she had transitioned out of the organization and was no longer there. So much for future conversations to make change. I did hear much later on that the department did have some changes, but nothing to do with this particular staff person. She was still there, doing her own thing and everyone just stepping out of her way. I cannot tell you how many times the words, “oh well, it is just her, you know how she is” was said to me.
I took a course last fall at Seneca on Employment Law. When we got to the chapter on workplace harassment it hit me in the face, because it happened to me. The code defines harassment as “engaging in a course of vexatious comment or conduct that is known or out reasonably to be known to be unwelcome”. Vexatious is defined as annoying, frustrating or irritating. Her behavior towards me was definitely annoying, frustrating and irritating.
It is funny, I shared my story about getting the job at WE and how the song Unwritten was playing as I was there to interview and the words in the song are “today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten”. All I can say is that they will need a full re-build if they plan on coming out of this time in the organization’s life.
This is a time in our lives like we have never experienced before. There are lessons to be learned every day. I wasn’t sure I would ever want to share what happened to me and how I make the choice to choose to leave a situation that I didn’t see ever getting better. In fact, leaving was my only choice, because had I stayed, I would have become even more bullied. THAT is what I have come away with over the past few weeks and the light that has been shown.
Thank you for allowing me this platform to share this with you.
Live your best life, stay safe,
Lisa
It is fair to say that we have all had more than enough of being self isolated. Not able to eat in our favourite restaurants, sporting events, even having a meal with family and friends. For many, Covid stopped all travel plans in their tracks. March break travel was about to happen, and some people did travel, but many did not. It was just after the break that everything really did come to a full stop.
The Lisa Chronicles 