I read a lot of articles, and blogs and interesting pieces of writing that people share on Facebook and on the internet. Being a woman in my (yikes) 40’s, I am drawn to the ones that have that somewhere in the title. Forty thoughts on being 40, surviving your 40’s…you know the stories.
As I am reading these articles, many of them are written by mommy bloggers. A relatively new term for women, professionals, wives and mothers that write about their lives. There many of those, and then there are a few that I read that are from a single mother perspective. There are so many blogs out there, and I am happy that you all choose to read my posts when I write. Writing and sharing isn’t for everyone, I know that. I choose to share and let you into my life.
I have a lot of thoughts about ‘life’ in general, and my life specifically.
Be the judge of your own character
What does that mean exactly? Well, it is simple really. You have to know what your core values are. What do you believe in? What were you taught growing up and what you have learned along the way.
I have had to come across this in my work environment in many different areas. If you have ever worked in a commission sales arena you know that the business is very cut throat. Everyone wants to be at the top of leader board, and for some, it is at whatever the cost. For me, it has never been that way. I am referring to taking the sale away from another person. I am sure it has been done to me many times over again, but I have not ever done it intentionally to anyone. I know that I can look in the mirror at the end of the day with my conscious in check. What does your moral compass tell you?
I really do try to behave that way in my life as well. I know that if you call me a friend, you know that you can count on me to be there for you. When I tell someone you can call me night or day, I mean it. When I say that my door is open for you, I mean it. Just recently I had a friend over for dinner, because I knew she needed a night away from the current situation she was dealing with. It was a couple of hours that she could be away from her life and just relax, let me cook her a meal, and let her have some space. I know it meant a lot to her, and it meant a lot to me to be able to do it for her.
Part of the reason I can be that way is because I am only responsible for myself. I don’t have to drive carpool, be at the hockey rink, pick up from dance class. I am just me. But being “just me” has its own set of responsibilities as well. Something I think that others forget that. I do what I do because I can, and it works for me most of the time.
Be flexible
When I was eighteen years old I had a part time job at Promenade Mall. I met this amazing girl from Florida who had moved to Toronto. She was a year old than me and we became fast friends. At the time I was still very “high school” way of thinking, making plans in advance making sure that I was busy and had things planned all the time. I used to get annoyed if the plans changed or were cancelled. She was not that way. She was more of a free spirit, planning was deciding about 10 minutes before you were to go out, if you were going to go. It used to drive me crazy, but with time, I learned to accept that was what worked for her, and if I wanted to be her friend, and make plans with her, that I had to learn to be more flexible.
That also comes with growing up. Over the years I have learned that flexible is the only way you can be. The underlying fact in my life is that my time belongs only to me, I don’t have to share it with anyone, so I am the most flexible person I can be. If we have plans for dinner, but my friend’s husband has to work late, or their child suddenly starts to throw up, or have a fever, or the babysitter cancels, we’ll go another time. I half jokingly half seriously said to someone recently, “I assume all plans are maybe until I hear the time we are meeting.”
Feeling included
I don’t play Maj. My mother never played Maj. I tried to learn it a couple of summers ago, but it wasn’t really my thing. I guess if I tried it a few more times and got the hang of it, maybe it could become “my thing”. I have several friends that play, on a regular basis. They have weekly games, and sometimes more than once a week. Every week there is an email that goes out to a group of people where the game(s) are being held and to RSVP if you plan on joining. I appreciate that even though it is not my thing per se, that I am still included in the group email. On the off chance I want to go, even just for the social aspect it is nice to be included.
Which is another reason why I like to be the host. I love to have people over at my place. For lunch, brunch, my Oscar parties. When I first came back from Israel I hosted a series of classes at my home for six weeks, which I would do again in a heartbeat. For many different reasons I suppose. Firstly, I am very proud of my home and love to have people in it. I think more importantly it is because I get to be the host and share my life with others.
Last year I bought a seasons pass to Canada’s Wonderland. People asked me why I did that. Firstly, I knew that my brother and his family had passes, and the kids have asked me to go in the past and I thought I would go with them, which I did – once. A lot of my friends have passes, and I truly thought I would have many opportunities to use the pass. It didn’t quite work out the way I had planned it in my head. I guess it was one of those live and learn situations. I don’t think I will run out and spend the money again this year. Been there, done that….
I really think about all the great things I have in my life. It is my story, and I get to write a new page every day.
Thank you for being a part of my story. I appreciate it!
The Lisa Chronicles 