Yesterday was November 4th….and I didn’t want to miss a day of writing but when I tried to express the thoughts I had in my head, it just wasn’t happening. But thoughts flow all the time, and at 530am, here I am.

I really just wanted to talk about having a nephew and how different it is than having Zoe and Jaime in my life.

What I love about Zoe and Jaime is…well everything. They are both so smart, and energetic and interesting. They have amazing things to say and conversations are always interesting. The discussion at dinner last night from Jaime was about aunts and uncles and how many she had. It went beyond the scope of her immediate aunts (Lisa, Erin and myself) and her uncles (Sam and Alan) but she started to ask about ALL her aunts and uncles, which got all of us involved remembering the people in our extended family.  It was a very interesting conversation and I was very impressed by her.

Zoe has always blown me away. She continues to do so each and every day. I have to keep reminding myself that she is growing up, and it is as such a rapid pace I can’t keep up sometimes. She and Jaime and both in Hebrew school and are really embracing it. Zoe has a book on the Hebrew alphabet and we were going over letters, and vowles and words. I am sure that I will learn from her as well. That is exciting to be a part of the learning process.

At Shabbat dinner last night, it was really nice to hear them singing the blessings over the candles and then Zoe took the challah that my mom made and said ha’motzi. It was really nice.

And now….there is Ezra. He is sweet, and charming and I just can’t get enough of him. He is smart, and knows so much already at 16 months. I brought him a stuffed dolphin that I received at a trade show and it was so sweet to see him hugging his new friend, and showing it to everyone. He is very engaging and he really lights up my life. I look at him, and I wonder, what is his voice going to sound like? I already know that his laughter is infectious I just want to bottle it up and open it when I need to smile.

Is he going to like arts and crafts like the girls do? He LOVES music and dancing, Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO is one of his fave songs from the summer. Will he play soccer or baseball, or will he want to go to dance class? Or both? All I know is I can’t wait to watch and see how this unfolds.

I just recently got a blackberry (finally) much to the chagrin of my Iphone lovin’ friends. I just don’t really like the touch screen for typing, I like a keyboard. I love bbm and I also love that my iphone lovin’ friends can download the Whatsapp for 0.99cents and we can chat as well. I didn’t know what I was missing when I didn’t have a bb. Now I know what I was missing…..

Same effect when I decided to jump into the world of the PVR – Personal video recorder, DVR, TiVo, whatever you want to call it. Up until 2 years ago, I only had a regular digital box, which was perfectly fine for me – UNTIL I decided to book a trip to California to visit Brad – and my vacation was going to coincide with the season finales of Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice and a few other shows. THE HORROR! What would it be if I couldn’t see the season finales of my favourite shows?

Oh wait….I could just record them….but no, I can’t, I don’t have a PVR….not anymore….I ordered it from rogers, picked up the new box and away I went. Life has never been the same since….

I know I am sounding dramatic over something such a tv shows, but for someone who enjoys popular culture, daytime shows when you work during the day, night time shows when you want to meet friends for dinner, coffee, whatever….

And let me tell you, I LOVE MY PVR! I can watch the live chat with Regis and Kelly and then delete. I can watch Hot Topics on The View and then delete. I can tape shows that I would not normally want to sit all the way through, but would love to fast forward through the boring parts (yes, that usually means soaps….haha).

Sometimes I save the shows that I really liked or would watch over and over again. That is great….except when your PVR is almost full…then you have to watch and delete, watch and delete. Then there are times like Oprah’s life classes, which you want to keep, but they take up too much space. I guess the good thing about Oprah is that we can almost bet that they will be out on DVD soon for purchase.

My mom always has something to say if we make dinner plans or are out when her show(s) are on. I keep telling her to get a pvr box already and she won’t miss another show. She hasn’t done it yet….I wonder when she will.

What’s on your PVR right now? Either saved or scheduled?

In July of this year, several friends of mine went to Israel. They went as part of a women’s mission group with an organization called Jewish Women’s Renaissance Project (http://www.jwrp.org/) taking back our values. I really didn’t want to go to Israel in July so I didn’t bother to apply. BUT….while they were there another trip was released for October and my friend Gayla and I decided to apply together.

If you look at the website it is all about Jewish Women, ‘girl power’, going to Israel to transform and grow and come back as ‘sisters’ and bring a stronger sense of Judaism back to the community.

“Our mission is to create a Jewish women’s movement that inspires a renaissance of positive values that transforms ourselves, our families, and our communities.”

The application said that this trip “was designed primarily for women who have children 18 and younger at home”. The organization believes that women have power in the home where it relates to religion, beliefs, etc, and that is fine, I actually agree with that. But what about someone who is currently unmarried and without children. Wouldn’t that person be a PERFECT candidate to ‘transform and grow’ and come back a stronger WOMAN in the Jewish community and ready to take on the challenge of finding a life partner and possibly having children.

That is what I thought, but not the case for the person handling my interview process. I am not going to mention names here, but this person, a Rebbitzn and someone that one would look up to in the community, ended up having no filter in her ‘personal’ beliefs and in turn, made me feel so inadequate, and an outcast in my own community by not having a spouse or children.

A very wise friend, someone I respect told me very honestly, “Lisa, it is not personal, it is the rules. If you don’t meet the criteria set forth in the trip, that is the way it is. It is not a personal attack on you, She is just teling you like it is.” That part is very true. Perhaps this person needs a lesson on filtering ones personal thoughts, but never the less. Once I was further enough away from it, I was able to see that.

But that doesn’t stop the human side of how I felt.

So, the trip is now almost over, and my friend that I was supposed to go with is on her way home now. I was following her pictures and posts on facebook with happiness for her, but envy and sadness for myself. As much as I wanted to be there with her, it was her time to transform and grow, and hopefully someday I will get the opprotunity to have the same kind of mission as well.