Ashton and Demi, Kim and Kris, Taylor Armstrong from Real Housewives of BH…..just to name a few. These are people who live their life in the spotlight, on television, big screen magazines. People who put there life on display for others to see, and then in the face of their own troubles, want their privacy. Their good times can be shown in every medium possible, but their bad times, “please give us some privacy”.

I am not saying that they don’t deserve their privacy, let’s get that out right now. I am just saying that it is hard to define when you can leave someone alone when you make them such a part of your life, that total strangers feel like they have a right to judge or comment on your life. We, the general public, the readers of their twitter accounts, the followers on facebook, the ones who watch the entertainment shows, go to their movies and all that we do, don’t know these people. And that is what they are, people, human beings who have a life outside of the their public live and living their mistakes just like you and I.

I am sure we all know people that have had trouble in their lives. I know people who have been cheated on, people who have ended their marriages, suffered illness and loss, people with personal issues that are not in the spotlight. They don’t have ‘good press’ or ‘bad press’, they have live each day in their own spotlight.

I know that earlier this year when I was having my unknown stomach issues, that my own brother had to ask me what was going on. When I asked why, his reply was, “my friends have been reading your status updates and they have been calling me to find out what is going on with you and if you are okay”.

When you put your life out in the public, even if you are not a celebrity making $750,000 for a half hour tv show, or $20 million dollars for a movie, you open yourself up to “YOUR” public. For me, that is my 373 connections on facebook, or my followers here in this blog, or the people that follow me on twitter. This is MY celebrity. Even though I share a lot of my life in my public forums, I try to keep an open mind that you will all read with an open heart and mind.

Thank you for following me, and allowing me to share my life with you. My life the way I see it……

There was a recent episode of Parenthood where the ‘deadbeat’ dad is trying to make mends with his children. He decides the best thing to do for his family is to leave and let them get on with their lives without him. When his daughter comes home she finds two envelopes on the table, one for her and one for her brother – the note says something like “for all the ones that I missed”.

The daughter (now 19 or 20) opens up the package and in it are cards from each year of her life – You are now 1, to my beautiful 2 year old, on your sweet 16, you get the drift. In each one there is a note from her dad asking for her forgiveness for missing each year. The picture fades away while we watch her connect with a father she doesn’t really know.

We live in the electronic age now, and we can’t escape it. Electronic greeting cards have been around for a while now, and now with Facebook you are updated when your ‘friends’ have birthdays. I have had a few facebook birthdays and I can say that it really makes you feel good to see your wall fill up with good wishes for the year to come.

So….where does that leave the greeting card industry? I am not going to cry for Hallmark or Carlton cards, but I would venture to say that they have seen a shift in their profits from their greetings over recent years. Especially with the increase of discounts stores like dollarama. Sure, you will probably not find the “BEST” greeting card on the planet at dollarama, but it is $1. I bought an anniversary card for my parents in October and the card was $5.49 plus taxes. I love my parents and the card was totally appropriate for them, so I paid the price.

But where do all ‘used’ greeting cards go? I guess it depends on the person. I would think that your 1st birthday would be something your parents would want to keep. Bar Mitzvah, Sweet 16, 21, 30, Engagment? Wedding? Baby? Where does it end? It doesn’t.

I admit to having too much ‘stuff’ in my life. I do keep cards from special occasions, some thank you cards, especially the ones that have personal pictures on them, hand made cards from my nieces. I have a box of cards that were given to me on this special birthday this year. So many people made such an effort to come to my party, and pick out cards for me, that I don’t want to throw them out…..

but when do you throw them out? Which comes back to the earlier point…about electronic greetings, birthday texts, messages on facebook. We can enjoy them for the day and then move on….

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,

I am writing you today to ask you why you used the term “friend” as your way of connecting people together on Facebook. Not everyone who you are connected with on Facebook is a “friend”. They are someone that you meet through someone, work related, family member, someone you knew 20 years ago, and they found you again on facebook.

Some of these people turn out to be friends. But what about the people that you haven’t seen in 20 years and then you re-connect. You agree to meet and go for dinner, drinks or coffee. Then it goes a few different ways – you decide, “hey I think that person is someone I want to be friends with again after 20 years, let’s see where this takes us” or perhaps, “yeah, well, there was a reason why maybe we didn’t stay connected after high school and the past should be left in the past”.

I had a situation last year when I was “unfriended” and I have to be honest with you – it was a horrible feeling and an experience I would never want to repeat. At first I thought it was a mistake, and then I tried it myself and you have to do a two step process to remove someone as a friend, up to that point I had never “unfriended” anyone. It asks you, “are you sure you want to unfriend this person, because this action cannot be undone”. Once you click yes, you are done…that person is no longer your friend and you don’t exist.

This happened again to me this summer with someone I thought was a good friend. This person said that “facebook” did it and when she tried to click on a picture it said, “add as friend”…..well…we cleared that up, and then last night, the same person, I noticed when I tried to find the profile and was not able, came up “add as friend.” Another ‘mutual’ connection I found out last night removed me as a friend as well.

Facebook has coined many new terms in our vocabulary, like “in box me” or “friend me” or “post on my wall”…. and you all know that I really enjoy using facebook to share thoughts, ideas, tv show tips, food tricks, and all of that. I am not saying I don’t like facebook or don’t want to use it anymore (the HORROR LOL)

As I said in my post over the weekend, if you are sick of all my posts, updates, shared links, etc, there is a “Hide” button that you can use. I hope you won’t choose to do that to me, but if you do, I will understand, my facebook life is not everyone’s facebook life.  I have used “hide” before, and it is much better than some one you think is a “friend” to find out than in fact you are not, and they don’t want to be “friends” with you anymore.

Thank you for listening,

Your facebook “fan” not friend,

Lisa