Have you ever been told a piece of “insider” scoop, something you were going to find out about, but found out before it went public, like someone is pregnant, for example? Or that someone has a new job? Has that piece of information ever been followed up with, “but don’t post anything on Facebook?” Well, it has happened to me. I was actually offended by the follow-up comment.  Why would I ever post on MY Facebook feed, or on someone else’s information that I knew wasn’t public knowledge? Facebook is very public, and people often overshare very personal information. I have shared a lot of information in the past, but nothing that was private or personal that I didn’t want discussed in a public forum. There is a fine line.

Yes, if you know me, you know that I am very active on Facebook, or used to be. Now that I look back on it, I wasn’t one of the people who updated their status every time I went to the bathroom, but I did have several updates a day, on top of sharing photos, interesting articles, etc.

I have said this before, several months ago a friend called me that I hadn’t spoken to in a while. She asked how I was and then followed it up with, “I know everything about you from Facebook.” My reply was, “You know about my Facebook life, you don’t know about my real life. They are very different.”

And then I decided it was time to take a break. It has been about six weeks now, and I have just started posting more regularly, but for the most part, still just keeping it to myself.

I even went on vacation. Did you know that? No, you probably didn’t. I didn’t check in at the airport, or the hotel, or post any of my food photos that everyone loves so much. I am not saying I didn’t check Facebook from my room at the end or start of the day, but I really “unplugged” and enjoyed my time away. I was in St. Maarten and if you have been there before you know what I mean when I say it was a slice of paradise.

Go back and think about a time (not that far back), before Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, texts, bbm, whatsapp. Think about how you would have told someone information, shared good news, bad news, social plans, birthday parties. You either got a phone call or a written invitation, and even further back, telegrams. People shared what they wanted you to know. Period.

And now, friends get ‘annoyed’ with you that they heard something about you from someone else and not from you. Maybe I wasn’t ready to share my information with the rest of the people in my life. Maybe I need to accept my own changes in my own time, and get in touch with different people in my life when I was ready.

The news was my news. It was about me, not about the person who was disappointed that they didn’t hear the information from me directly. It gave me time to think about a lot of things. Things I have learned, that you don’t really need to share your ‘changes’ in your life until you want.

It is YOUR life. You are the writer, director, producer and star of your own show. You may have permanent cast members in your show, and maybe some of them are just guest stars and are only in a few episodes. The good news is you get to choose to extend their contract or let them out if they are not longer part of the plot line.

This forum, writing about my story seems to make sense to me.

Last week I was visiting hanging with my niece and she was showing me how to make Avitars on this computer program she has at school. She said she would make one for me. We picked the face shape, hair colour, eye colour, etc. When it came time to pick facial features, she picked this ‘crinkle’ that is on your forehead. She said I had one on my forehead. I was mortified. I can’t possible have that line? Or can I?

Cross your arms, yes, right now stop and cross your arms. What message would you be sending to someone that you may be sitting with right now? Are you bored? Angry? Frustrated? Think about that for a minute.

Now look down at your legs. Are they crossed? Are you shaking your leg because you are restless and bored? Nervous?

Internally, you know how you are feeling, but how are other seeing and perceiving your actions? A lot of the time, I am sure that the people around you get it wrong.

Now, think about your face. You can’t “see” your face. Everyone else can see your face except for you. That is why it is very important to know how you are feeling on the inside because it will most likely be your image on your face.

When was the last time you rolled your eyes? You probably can’t remember even doing that, but I am sure the person you are walking with can. I am sure that you both saw the same person in line at Starbucks, walking through the mall, talking very loudly on their cell phone in a public place. You can’t see your face, but everyone else can see your expressions good or bad.

I worked in several different call centres over the years. I have worked in a cubicle, at home alone, and in a store front location. I have attended countless sales seminars and do you know what almost all the trainers say it is a must for a call centre employee to have at their desk? One word – a MIRROR. They tell you to look in the mirror and smile back at yourself as you are talking to clients on the phone. People can hear you smiling. Trust me they can.

And they can also hear when you are not smiling. When you have not had your morning coffee yet. When you have had a fight with a friend, spouse, parent, child and are still carrying around your anger. When you are worried about sick family member, friend or pet.

All of these emotions, thoughts, feelings are all expressed on our faces. I am sure there is some scientific experiment that has calculated how many different facial expressions we do on a daily basis.

The message tonight is simple. This evening I came face to face with someone that I was not expecting to see. For a brief moment I am sure if I could see my face it would have been white and mortified. After the interaction I am sure I was smiling. Smiling because I knew that I took the higher ground and was proud for doing so.

Tonight when you are brushing your teeth before bed, look at your face in the mirror. What will others see in your face? What do you see? Make an effort tomorrow to think about what your face looks like a couple of times during the day. If you think it isn’t the way you think you want it to be, change it. You have control over it. Total control.

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror.
I’m asking him to change his ways.
No message could have been any clearer.
If you wanna make the world a better place,
Take A Look At Yourself, and then make a change.”