Today is #BellLetsTalk, so let’s do that

Today is #BellLetsTalk day. It is a day to bring awareness on Mental Health issues. I don’t know about you and the friends that you have, but with a lot of different people in my life this is an ongoing topic of conversation. We are having #bellletstalk daily.

Life is challenging. Not all people think that they have mental health issues, but I think more do than they realize. Have you ever just felt like not getting out of your pajamas or taking a shower? How about not wanting to go out with your friends or talk on the phone? How about crying for would appear to be no apparent reason? How about feeling like every one you know is moving and you are standing still? Well guess what, those are mental health issues.

We all have bruises. Some are visible but others are not. Sometimes it manifests itself outwardly like passive aggressive behaviours on social media. Maybe you have done it and not even realized your comment was exactly that. Sometimes what you don’t say is almost as important as what you do say. Passive aggressive comments on facebook are more often than not written for a reaction, a “like” or a comment. Your friends will give you the “rah rah” cheer of approval. Others may look at it and know that it is more than that.

One of the things that happens sometimes is that people get pushed away. While it is true that everyone has their problems, everyone’s are their own and different. There is a saying that if everyone put all their problems in one big pile you would be guaranteed to take yours back. That may very well be true.

Reaching out is hard. While you are going through whatever it is you are going through, you may not really want to hear about your friend’s issues, whatever they may be. You need to keep trying. Friends often tell you what you want to hear, not necessarily what you need to hear. Tough love isn’t easy to give or receive. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and reactions. Sometimes you even get unfriended on Facebook or stop calling or your phone stops ringing.

I am trying to say a lot of things, without being too specific. It is hard. Ellen Degeneres ends her show every day ‘be kind to one another’. I would also say not to give up on your friends that may have dropped off the grid for a while. Since today is #BellLetsTalk day, reach out and send a message to just one person. If everyone reached out to one of their friends today, think about the impact of that.

Live your best life,

Lisa

#Keeping it together 2.0

The weekend of October 23 – 24th was the Shabbos Project. This weekend has become a global initiative for Jewish People all over the world to participate in and enjoy the beauty and depth of keeping Shabbat. The event weekend started on Thursday night where thousands of women around the world participated in the mitzvah of Challah. I attended last year, which was a wonderful meaningful experience.

Shabbat is the very heart and soul of the Jewish people

Once again this year I decided to spend Shabbat with my friends in the Thornhill Woods Shul community. I have spoken in many posts about this community and how amazing they are. It is a place where I can walk in by myself and feel at home. There aren’t a lot of places I like to go on my own, but this is one of them. I never really feel alone there.

Upon walking into the building, I was greeted by one of the event co-ordinators. He greeted me warmly and said, “So nice to see you again. We need to do this more than once a year”.  The next person I met in the hall was one of the Rabbis of the Shul. The husband of the Rebbitzen who accepted me on the JWRP trip to Israel that I took in Jun 2012. He also said, “It is so nice to see you again this year”. Within minutes of arriving I instantly felt I was amongst friends. Hugs and catching up with some of the women in the community. Then it was time for learning.

Shabbat is the mitzvah that has held the Jewish people together for thousands of years.

The two classes I participated in were completely different yet were intertwined in the thoughts put forward. The first one was Jew-ish – our uncomfortable relationship with Jewish identity, and the second was Stepping out to step up – Foundation for building my Judaism.

What does it mean to be Jewish vs. Jew-ish? What do we mean when we say we are “Culturally Jewish”? There were a lot of interesting questions raised during this discussion. Why are we more comfortable for example if someone says they are becoming a vegan than if someone says that are going to start eating Kosher? If you want to ask me more about this discussion, you can send me a message and we can talk about this wonderful talk. My only regret – that the talk wasn’t long enough.

Shabbat is a mitzvah with a special power and resonance for our times. It can hold Jewish families together in a society where everything seems to be pulling us apart.

After services and learning, there was lunch. The event organizers created a banquet hall event space, with table cloths, centerpieces, chair covers and set seating. It was really a special meal to be shared with the community. I was grateful to be sitting with two families that I know well as well as a few that I had never met before. What a great meal it was. Challah, chicken, kugel, salad, and a beautiful dessert display.

We had a table discussion revolving around the following question: If there were a pill that would induce a constant state of happiness with no dangerous side effects, would you take it? Lots of interesting discussion around the table.

After lunch was over we walked back to my friends house to spend time together. Once we arrived at the house, their 6 year old daughter was so excited to read a book with me. A book about the Torah Parshas. We started to read together a Torah study book for children. With the chapters broken down by the Torah portion, and then questions at the end of each chapter. It was just between her and I and I let her be the leader (the Morah) and teaching me what she knows. It was fully engaging and so fulfilling. Another blessing about Shabbat, time to engage each other. Disconnect to connect.  

Another family came over and we talked a lot. We also ate the Seudah Shleshis (the third meal). After that Shabbat was over. My friend went for evening services and then when he came home we said the beautiful Havadallah prayers. Since Shabbat was over before he left for services he had me repeat:

Baruch Ha-mavdil Bein Kodesh L’Chol
“Blessed is The One Who distinguishes between the holy and the regular”.

It is customary to say Shavua Tov at the end of Shabbat or even on Sunday morning. It means to have a good coming week.

Shabbos restores us, not just in a physical sense, but emotionally and spiritually as well, so we emerge on Saturday night as new human beings ready to face the week with all its challenges and opportunities.

I felt that. I felt very connected after spending the day connecting with myself and others on spiritual, personal and emotional. I know it is always an open invitation – after all they do joke that they are there every week.

Thank you for reading and I would love to hear your comments. Please feel free to share this story of my wonderful Shabbos Project experience. It may come weekly, but it is always special.

Life your best life,

Lisa

 

Reflections

YOM

Many years ago I was sitting in Shule with my parents and my grandmother waiting for Kol Nidre to begin. My Gramma was sitting beside me with her arm over my shoulder and I was playing with the bracelet she always wore. It was one of those things that you may have done with your Grandmother, playing with their jewelry. To make a long story short, she took the bracelet off and gave it to me. She wanted to see me wearing it and happy while she could. I cherish this bracelet and I always wear it on Kol Nidre night.

We went to a new Shule this year, and for the first time had a new prayer book. Right before the Amidah (silent prayer) there is a passage that I wanted to share with you all as we are about to begin Yom Kippur.

Reflections

When we really begin a new year it is decided,
And when we actually repent it is determined.

Who shall be truly alive and who shall merely exist;

Who shall be happy and who shall be miserable.

Who shall  attain fulfillment in his days
And who shall not attain fulfillment in his days;

Who shall be tormented by the fire of ambition
And who shall be overcome by the waters of failure;

Who shall be pierced by the sharp sword of envy
and who shall be torn by the wild beast of resentment;

Who shall hunger for companionship
And who shall thirst for approval;

Who shall be shattered by the earthquake of social change
And who shall be plagued by the pressure of conformity;

Who shall be strangled by insecurity
And who shall be stoned into submission;

Who shall be content with his lot
And who shall wander in search of satisfaction;

Who shall be serene and who shall be distraught;

Who shall be at ease and who shall be afflicted with anxiety;

Who shall be poor in his own eyes
And who shall be rich in tranquility;

Who shall be brought low with futility
And who shall be exalted through achievement.

But repentance, prayer and good deeds
have the power to change the character of our lives.

Let us resolve to repent, pray and to do good deeds
so that we may truly begin a new year.

G’mar Chatima Tova – wishing you an easy fast.

May we be inscribed in the book of life.

Amen.

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