I was at work on a Sunday this past March when I got the email from my friend that my dear friend Joel died suddenly the night before. I remember how I felt, like someone had punched me in the stomach. Like I had been here before. I had.

I felt the same way 12 years ago today. Sitting at breakfast at my parents house when we got the call from my brother that Aviva had died. That same feeling. Hearing my mother on the phone yelling no, and how could this be.

As I am sitting here staring at the screen I am thinking about both Joel and Aviva and  how many similarities I can find of their spirits. Both taken from us way too soon.

Larger than life personality – There is a presence that some people have when the walk into a room, people take notice. I know that could be said of Aviva as I was witness to it many times. I will tell you I was often in awe of her and her presence. Joel was the same way at work. Even when he lived in Calgary and we had web calls with him, his personality jumped through the phone.

Big Laughs – Both Joel and Aviva had infectious laughs. Even if you were at the other side of the room, you could hear their laughter.

Big Hearts – both of them had a deep rooted love for their roots. I know that Aviva did volunteer work in Guelph and Joel’s long lasting memories are sharing Shabbat photos every Friday wishing his friends and family Shabbat Shalom. Greg has carried on that tradition and even though it makes me sad to know he isn’t here any more, it is comforting to know that his memory does live on in the photos and the gesture of the good wishes.

I think I said this last year but I think my eldest niece and Aviva would have been great buddies. She too is a large presence, funny, great laugh and a wise mind. I watched my niece at camp a few weeks ago and was in awe of her spirit as well. I can’t wait to see what is in store for her as she moves forward in her life.

I will give some thought and pause today and remember Aviva and the lasting impression she had on my life. It is a spark that I don’t think will ever be extinguished.

Love you and miss you V,

Lisa

Again we are faced with a week of horrible violence. It is not just about black lives matter, blue lives matter, but all lives matter. There is a terrible disconnect in the world today. Today is letter E in my alphabet gratitude challenge. My word of the day is Empathy.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines Empathy as “the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions : the ability to share someone else’s feelings”.

What does that really mean exactly? I am starting to wonder if we are just becoming immune to what is going on around us and what we can do about it. I am just sad today.

I am an empathetic person. I care about people around me. I give food to the homeless man on the street near my house. I pay it forward in the drive through line at Tim Hortons. I called 911 in the spring when a man was wandering around the streets near Wilmington in his underwear. I get it. All lives matter.

We keep putting words in front of the real facts that these are people – they could be people watching a concert in Paris, in an airport in Istanbul, in a gay nightclub in Orlando, in your bedroom in Israel, in your car in Israel, a café in Israel, your car in the United States (land of the free remember), at a peaceful rally in Dallas. At the end of the day these are lives, human beings, just like you and I.

I mentioned this before on my Facebook page – three days after Orlando I was in my car coming home from a show at Princess of Wales. Stopped in the entertainment district at a red light, in my car. Groups of people on the street to my left, groups of people on the street to my right. At any moment I could become a victim. A victim of random (or not so) acts of violence. It just all seemed too real that this is what the world we live in today is about – time and place. Innocent and not so much. Is this the new world we live in? I suppose it is. I don’t like it.

If you light Shabbat Candles tonight let’s add some extra prayers for humanity, not just the victims of the violence of the past few days.

Alphabet Challenge day 5 – E – Empathy

I am a couple of days behind in this 26 day challenge, but I will catch up.

Today is day 4 – which is letter D. I have two words for D to share with you today – Diversity and Divinity.

All through my life I have had a diverse group of friends. When you are young and in school it is easy for friendships as you are with the same people every day, and every year for many years. When I went to camp, I had camp friends, etc. All through those years there is a sense of similarity and a cultural sameness.

Once you start working you meet new people and start to develop adult relationships. They are more diverse as these are not people that you would have not necessarily have met in your younger years. They may not (and probably do not) have come from the same upbringing as you have. I have been lucky in my working life which is more than half my life, to meet a lot of amazing people coming from many diverse backgrounds with their own unique stories have how they have grown up.

One of these great friends that I have met along the way is a Minister in the United Church. I have written about her before as I loved being part of her journey into her ministry and the life she has grown into.

I went to her Church on Sunday. It was a beautiful day and her Church is in Jordan Station which if you aren’t familiar is in the Niagara region which in itself is a world away from the concrete jungle we call Toronto. The population is just about 22,000 and filled with families who have deep roots in the area.

I feel so comfortable in her place of worship. It is a small church with wooden pews, and you know it is filled with love of the members whose families who have been there for over 100 years.

Towards the end of the service Anita asks the congregation if there are both joys and concerns for family and friends that would like to be included in prayer. Much like we have our Misheberach prayer from the Rabbi, but this is a sharing time where people speak out about the good and sometimes not so good of what is going on with loved ones and themselves. Once everyone has shared, she begins her prayer. I closed my eyes and listened to her soothing voice pray for the healing of those not well, for the happiness of those sharing good thoughts. I have some people I know going through some issues of their own so I closed my eyes and prayed for them.

I cherish all my relationships and what I can learn from them and what I can teach others. I hope you have learned something about me as I journey through this Alphabet Gratitude Challenge.

Day 4 – Letter D – Diversity and Divinity.