To quote one of my all time favourite songs – A long, long time ago, I can still remember….

I am grateful for all of the amazing gifts I have had in my life due to my career in the travel industry. Grateful for all the amazing travel, but more so the amazing cast of characters that have entered stage right into my life. Some have exited stage left, but some have stayed, and we are into our second, third and maybe fourth acts in our play called life together. One such friend is celebrating a birthday today. My special friend and spiritual soul sister, Anita.

Picture it, working in the travel industry in the fall and winter of 2001. It was a not the best of times. Recovering from the events of 9/11 when travel just stopped. Anita was working as a business development manager for a supplier that made regular sales calls to our office and usually provided lunch. This particular visit was just that, sitting around the boardroom without lunch. When she was questioned about why there wasn’t lunch, she gave a very pointed answer. To this day, (and I have reminded her about this answer over the years) I will never forget the answer. The answer was – For every pizza lunch I don’t provide to you, is a day longer that I get to keep my job. It was harsh, but it was also life in the travel industry after 9/11. Thankfully the world of travel has recovered and also thankfully that show has closed for both of us.

The next acts of our amazing friendship have continued to grow and mature just like we have. I remember when Anita told me, “I am going to get my masters in Divinity”. I remember thinking (probably out loud) what will that allow you to do. Be a minister, she replied. Her next show was introduced.

To watch Anita become who she is today has been a gift to me.

She lives in Vineland, about 90 minutes from me along the QEW for those who know the area. Spending time in Vineland has really become something special in my life. I call it my spiritual soul visits and I love when I have them.

She has introduced me to a group of wonderful women who also help fill my soul with their friendship, laughter and well, who’s kidding, love of wine and bubbles. After all, when in Vineland, what else do you do. Drink wine.

When Heath passed away this summer, I knew that Anita was in Florida and off line and I didn’t know how I would reach her. I left her, what I am sure was a crazy out of my mind voicemail. I had no idea if she would get the message. She did.

I went out to Vineland on the Sunday after Heath passed. I went to her service and watched her with the kids of the Church. The message was so simple, what do we have an abundance of. I mentioned this in my blog this summer. A bunch of different answers came out and one child said, love. Anita didn’t look at me but said, and love never dies.

Lunch and wine tasting followed services as they usually do. Subdued lunch that day. Reflection. We do that a lot. Reflection on where we are, where we are going and belief that there is good in the world. This is my friend Anita.

My friend whose mission has many parts. She is bringing her ministry to the congregants of two churches, and her passion is bringing clean water to the people in the mountains of Dominican Republic. Clean water as we all should know changes lives. It allows girls to go to school, it allows families to eat healthier and it gives opportunity.

It is Anita’s birthday today. I want to send her the best wishes for today and always.

I am going to Vineland on Sunday. Services, lunch and wine. That will be on the playbill for the day.

Happy birthday Anita. Wishing you the best today and everyday.

Soul Sister

Dear 2018,

Today is December 14th and there are 17 days left of your year. I hope you don’t mind that I will be happy when 2018 is over and 2019 can begin. I know that you are going to tell me that everyone feels this way at the end of every year, but this year, or at least the back six months, has been less than kind.

I would like to say that working on the glass is half full theory of life that I should celebrate the good, or the wins as one would say of this year.

Y’all know I like to celebrate my birthday and this year I went to Savannah, Georgia to celebrate and it did not disappoint. Birthday lunch at Paula Dean’s restaurant Lady and Sons, lots of great local delights like fried green tomatoes, corn bread, fried chicken, collard greens and pralines. You can also drink in the street in Savannah only one of I believe 7 cities in the US that you can do that. (make a note for future reference).

In June after I had binged watched the entire series of Scandal (separate post on that to follow), Designated Survivor and Madam Secretary it was time to go to Washington DC. We did not find Olivia Pope and Fitz, President Kirkman or Elizabeth McCord but we had a fantastic time seeing the sights and eating great food. Little did I know that was going to be the last trip I would have with Heath, but at the same time I am happy to say that it was a fantastic trip with great memories that will now have to carry me through.

My parents finally decided in 2018 that it was time to leave their home of 45 years and make the move across the street (literally) to condo living in Thornhill. Getting them ready for the move was a daunting task after a lifetime of ‘life’ collection, but we did it. They are happy in their new home, and it is beautiful. I wish them well as they move into their next chapter of life.

The best shining moment in the back half of your year was just last month at my niece’s Bat Mitzvah. Tradition is such an integral part of our lives and celebrating milestone’s with family and friends is a blessing that we should all cherish. My niece was so impressive with her delivery of her Torah portion, wise with her words and stunning in her beauty. Celebrating her all weekend was exactly what my heart and soul needed.

It was just before the Washington trip that you (2018) started what turned out to be a rough year for loss in my life and people around me. Many of my parents friends became widowed this year, and then on July 24th, you took Heath from our lives. Not to mention mental health issues and self harm, and of course most recently that damn C word, Cancer. I think that this year can be summed up in my world as two times, before and after July 24th.

Working through the grief process has been one heck of a bumpy ride. As was told to me many times, no one can tell you how long it will last, what it will feel like and how you work through it. It truly is an individual experience that we will all have to go through. Many words of comfort were given and this sums it up best – the only way to get through it is to go through it. No truer words were ever told to me.

But, through it all, oh hard 2018, I am still standing. You have not knocked me out. Down for a short count here and there, yes I would say so. But not down for good. Not just ‘showing up’ or calling it in, but actually getting the tasks at hand done. Even in those first few weeks, getting my parents ready for moving day, and then actually executing the move and making sure that they were okay. That was a huge task that was completed with success.

Getting through the next 17 days will again be a challenge. Knowing that at the start of 2018 the planning discussion about going to Kenya started and knowing that the Kenya part of 2018 will not be happening is going to be hard.

I would like to end with thanking 2018 for the gifts and the lessons that you taught me. Life is not easy, not even close. Life lessons are all around you each and every day. It is not easy to choose happy every day, or even every other day, but it is a choice. Every day that we open our eyes and get out of bed we choose the day we are going to have. There are days where staying in bed feels like the best answer for the day, but making the choice to get out of bed is always a step forward to possibilities. Life is about possibilities and the opportunities to choose them. This was one of many gifts that Heath gave me and I will take that forward as I say good bye to you 2018 and say hello to my new friend 2019.

I am sure you will hear from me again before 2018 and I break up for good, but for now I will wish you to live your best life,

Lisa

I don’t love roller coasters. The slow creaking anticipation of that first climb into the sky, and then that mid air suspension when you know that the s**t is about to go down, but you are not sure if you are going to laugh, scream, cry and maybe have an accident right there on the ride.

I think it is pretty safe to say that for the last three and a half months I have been on a never ending roller coaster loop. The highs and the lows. The creeping anticipation of going to Oklahoma City in September and the ride that was to now.  Each week is an up down ride of feelings, thoughts and memories. As much as I would love to get off this ride, I am riding in the car of life that has locked me in for the long ride.

All through this roller coaster ride was the finish line. The end of the year. The trip to Kenya.

One week I was riding the ‘going to’ Kenya coaster, the next week it was the ‘not going’ to Kenya coaster. Never really sure, much like waiting in line for the ride saying to yourself, “do I really want to do this? Why would I want to do this? Why wouldn’t I want to do this?”

I was getting good at deflecting the answer. I put down the deposit so I was good for a while. Waiting in line while I decided my fate of being a trip participant. Until last week. Deadline loomed. I was advised I had to pay by October 31st. Once I paid the ticket was 100% non refundable. Next in line. Do I get on or do I a abort the ride once and for all.

I have decided to abort this ride. I will not be going to Kenya with WE this December. It was not the right time for me. Many asked, “what would Heath say?” The truth is, it is not about him. It was supposed to be something we did together, but now doing it by myself was not something that was the right time for me.

My director asked me how I felt about the decision. The truth is, I am okay with it. Kenya was on my bucket list way before WE was in my life. It will still be there. I will be able to make a choice to go when the time is right for me.

For now Kenya will go from the top of the list, back down the list a bit. I have to make some travel plans because life isn’t meant to be lived in one place. New rides to enjoy, mountains to climb and enjoy the exhilaration of the experience.

Until then,

Live your best life,

Lisa