Today I took my car in for the 5 year top to bottom check up. It is 5 years that I have had the car and tomorrow I pay it off and it will be mine. I know that I am not the first person to pay off their car, but for me, this is the final step in closing one circle in my life.

On February 21st, 2014 at about 600pm I was in my car about to get on the on ramp to the 404 southbound while it was snowing. Realizing that it was five years ago almost to the minute that I was getting on the on ramp of the 404 at Wellington heading southbound, in a blizzard. It was shortly thereafter that I had my car accident. February 21st, 2009.

For the last five years I have remembered the day, time and place. When I arrived at dinner with my parents on February 21st this year I told my mom what I was thinking about when I got on the 404 and I said that this is the last year that I am going to give the accident my memory.

The car represented the accident as well. It was about five days after the accident that I had my cousin take me to pick up the rental car that I would use until I bought a new car. I remember, it was snowing, and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to drive, so I had him wait for me and follow me as I drove out of the parking lot. It was snowing today when I got into the rental car that I had for the day.

Does this sound crazy? I think I sound crazy, but I am not sure. 

The cool thing is that after five years I finally feel like I am in a good place with driving in the winter. Situations that used to stop me from going somewhere or doing something don’t anymore. I am not saying that I don’t have PTSD triggers, but they are farther and fewer between now.

So, cheers to me and my final car payment. As the Elsa sings in Frozen, it is time to “let it go” once and for all.

Let’s hope that happens!!