If you are a friend of mine on Facebook you know that I love TBT – Throwback Thursdays. It is a great way to dig up your old school photos and share them with your facebook community. I know that a lot of my connections on FB are friends from ‘back in the day’ and it is funny to see them sharing their photos as well.

Since I am a writer, I thought about sharing my photos with a story attached. I always have a story, and if you know me well, you know that to be true.

So, my first wayback Wednesday is about…well…travelling. Fits into my life I suppose, for the last 24 years being a travel agent.

I enjoy relaxing island vacations, reading, sitting by the pool, but I have come to appreciate that I enjoy going on a “trip” vs. a vacation. They are different, and if you have experienced both, you know what I mean.

Back when I was starting out in the travel business I took my first “trip”. It was April 2005 – 19 years ago, which that in itself is a crazy thought.

It was a crazy whirlwind trip – 7 days, flying into Las Vegas, then onto Los Angeles, then onto San Fransisco, back to Vegas and then home. Three different airlines, six different hotels and three different car rental companies.

We had amazing experiences along the way. A show in Vegas, Red Rock Canyon, a Laker game in LA, Venice Beach and so much more. It was still in the peak of the OJ Simpson trials, and we drove up and down looking for Rockingham (OJ’s street) which we did find, as well as the Bundy Drive townhouse (murder scene).

We did spend almost one whole day waiting on the NBC lot to get into a taping of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. We did get in and saw Hank Aaron, Mark Harmon and Margaret Cho.

And then we arrived in San Fransisco. What a beautiful city that is. Since I was only there for a few days, and it was 19 years ago, I know that it is back on my list as a place that I need to return to, especially now that I am a foodie.

One of the best parts of the trip for me was the visit to Alcatraz. I remember not being that interested in going at the time. What was I thinking??!! It turned out to be one of the best parts of the whole week.

You have to buy tickets in advance. We learned that when we went on our first day and they said that all the departures were full that day. So, we bought tickets for the next day.

Alcatraz Island is a looming land mass in the heart of San Fransisco bay and can be seen from all over the downtown area. You take a boat out to the island. It is then a 1/3 mile walk up the hill to the jail.

You get a head set with pre-recorded descriptions of what you are walking through and what it was when the jail was open. The dining hall was fascinating. Officers were unarmed, while the inmates were “armed” with metal forks, spoons and trays. There were tear gas canisters mounted into the ceiling beams in case there was anyone that got out of control.

The tour talks about the inmates, and the escape attempt of 1962. Three inmates created a very detailed elaborate plan to escape off the island and after lights out on June 11, 1962 they put their plan in action. The were never found and presumed to have drowned in the cold waters of San Fransisco bay.

The Federal prison closed in 1963.

In 1972 Alcatraz island was made part of the Golden Gate National Recreation Area. and part of the National Park Service. More than 750,000 visitors come to the island annually (statistics from 1995). Recent statistics are about 1.3 million each year.

One of the lessons I started to learn when travelling with others is to have an open mind and be open to compromise. What I really didn’t think I had any interest in turned out to be a trip highlight. If I hadn’t had an open mind, I never would have seem Alcatraz and that would have been a shame.

Stay tuned for my next Wayback Wednesday installment!! 

I read a lot of articles, and blogs and interesting pieces of writing that people share on Facebook and on the internet. Being a woman in my (yikes) 40’s, I am drawn to the ones that have that somewhere in the title. Forty thoughts on being 40, surviving your 40’s…you know the stories.

As I am reading these articles, many of them are written by mommy bloggers. A relatively new term for women, professionals, wives and mothers that write about their lives. There many of those, and then there are a few that I read that are from a single mother perspective. There are so many blogs out there, and I am happy that you all choose to read my posts when I write. Writing and sharing isn’t for everyone, I know that. I choose to share and let you into my life.

I have a lot of thoughts about ‘life’ in general, and my life specifically. 

Be the judge of your own character

What does that mean exactly? Well, it is simple really. You have to know what your core values are. What do you believe in? What were you taught growing up and what you have learned along the way.

I have had to come across this in my work environment in many different areas. If you have ever worked in a commission sales arena you know that the business is very cut throat. Everyone wants to be at the top of leader board, and for some, it is at whatever the cost. For me, it has never been that way. I am referring to taking the sale away from another person. I am sure it has been done to me many times over again, but I have not ever done it intentionally to anyone. I know that I can look in the mirror at the end of the day with my conscious in check. What does your moral compass tell you?

I really do try to behave that way in my life as well. I know that if you call me a friend, you know that you can count on me to be there for you. When I tell someone you can call me night or day, I mean it. When I say that my door is open for you, I mean it. Just recently I had a friend over for dinner, because I knew she needed a night away from the current situation she was dealing with. It was a couple of hours that she could be away from her life and just relax, let me cook her a meal, and let her have some space. I know it meant a lot to her, and it meant a lot to me to be able to do it for her.

Part of the reason I can be that way is because I am only responsible for myself. I don’t have to drive carpool, be at the hockey rink, pick up from dance class. I am just me. But being “just me” has its own set of responsibilities as well. Something I think that others forget that. I do what I do because I can, and it works for me most of the time.

Be flexible

When I was eighteen years old I had a part time job at Promenade Mall. I met this amazing girl from Florida who had moved to Toronto. She was a year old than me and we became fast friends. At the time I was still very “high school” way of thinking, making plans in advance making sure that I was busy and had things planned all the time. I used to get annoyed if the plans changed or were cancelled. She was not that way. She was more of a free spirit, planning was deciding about 10 minutes before you were to go out, if you were going to go. It used to drive me crazy, but with time, I learned to accept that was what worked for her, and if I wanted to be her friend, and make plans with her, that I had to learn to be more flexible.

That also comes with growing up. Over the years I have learned that flexible is the only way you can be. The underlying fact in my life is that my time belongs only to me, I don’t have to share it with anyone, so I am the most flexible person I can be. If we have plans for dinner, but my friend’s husband has to work late, or their child suddenly starts to throw up, or have a fever, or the babysitter cancels, we’ll go another time. I half jokingly half seriously said to someone recently, “I assume all plans are maybe until I hear the time we are meeting.”

Feeling included

I don’t play Maj. My mother never played Maj. I tried to learn it a couple of summers ago, but it wasn’t really my thing. I guess if I tried it a few more times and got the hang of it, maybe it could become “my thing”. I have several friends that play, on a regular basis. They have weekly games, and sometimes more than once a week. Every week there is an email that goes out to a group of people where the game(s) are being held and to RSVP if you plan on joining. I appreciate that even though it is not my thing per se, that I am still included in the group email. On the off chance I want to go, even just for the social aspect it is nice to be included.

Which is another reason why I like to be the host. I love to have people over at my place. For lunch, brunch, my Oscar parties. When I first came back from Israel I hosted a series of classes at my home for six weeks, which I would do again in a heartbeat. For many different reasons I suppose. Firstly, I am very proud of my home and love to have people in it. I think more importantly it is because I get to be the host and share my life with others.

Last year I bought a seasons pass to Canada’s Wonderland. People asked me why I did that. Firstly, I knew that my brother and his family had passes, and the kids have asked me to go in the past and I thought I would go with them, which I did – once. A lot of my friends have passes, and I truly thought I would have many opportunities to use the pass. It didn’t quite work out the way I had planned it in my head. I guess it was one of those live and learn situations. I don’t think I will run out and spend the money again this year. Been there, done that….

I really think about all the great things I have in my life. It is my story, and I get to write a new page every day.

Thank you for being a part of my story. I appreciate it!

Today I took my car in for the 5 year top to bottom check up. It is 5 years that I have had the car and tomorrow I pay it off and it will be mine. I know that I am not the first person to pay off their car, but for me, this is the final step in closing one circle in my life.

On February 21st, 2014 at about 600pm I was in my car about to get on the on ramp to the 404 southbound while it was snowing. Realizing that it was five years ago almost to the minute that I was getting on the on ramp of the 404 at Wellington heading southbound, in a blizzard. It was shortly thereafter that I had my car accident. February 21st, 2009.

For the last five years I have remembered the day, time and place. When I arrived at dinner with my parents on February 21st this year I told my mom what I was thinking about when I got on the 404 and I said that this is the last year that I am going to give the accident my memory.

The car represented the accident as well. It was about five days after the accident that I had my cousin take me to pick up the rental car that I would use until I bought a new car. I remember, it was snowing, and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to drive, so I had him wait for me and follow me as I drove out of the parking lot. It was snowing today when I got into the rental car that I had for the day.

Does this sound crazy? I think I sound crazy, but I am not sure. 

The cool thing is that after five years I finally feel like I am in a good place with driving in the winter. Situations that used to stop me from going somewhere or doing something don’t anymore. I am not saying that I don’t have PTSD triggers, but they are farther and fewer between now.

So, cheers to me and my final car payment. As the Elsa sings in Frozen, it is time to “let it go” once and for all.

Let’s hope that happens!!