When I started eating sushi many years ago, my repetoire consisted of california rolls, cucumber rolls, tempura and teriaki. Over the last few years, several all you can eat sushi places have popped up in my area (one in the back of my condo) and I have been able to try new things. I love sushi now, and have been known to go a couple times a week if asked…lunch, dinner…you ask, if I can go, we go.

So, when Shari called yesterday and told me she had a craving for sushi, I jumped at the chance. It was more about seeing her than eating the sushi, especially since yesterday was her last day of chemo. I had my niece’s birthday party at night, so we agreed to meet for an early dinner at the place near my condo.

I was so happy to see her. I knew that she had a ‘fanny’ pack with her chemo that she took home, but I was surprised to see her take it out of her purse! I didn’t realize it was with her, attached to her, at all times! Especially when she got up to pay, but didn’t remember that she was attached to her purse – not something you should forget!

We ordered lots of food, and started to talk, and laugh and share. The last few months, we haven’t had a lot of times that were filled with our usually crazy stories, funny stories and laughter. (yes, there was lots of ‘girl’ talk). It is quite funny actually, I have been to this restaurant with other friends, and we get VERY engrossed in our conversations, that we don’t even realize people coming and going. We are in our own space, and place in time. It is hard to explain, but it is very special. I have shared many sushi meals with friends, and when you look at your watch…you don’t even realize that you have been there for almost three hours sometimes! A quick dinner, is no less than a 90 minute affair, that’s what it was last night.

Of course we talked about cancer, and the bone marrow and what comes next. I hope that Shari will be well enough to come to the donor drives and see how many people care about her and hope that she can ‘kick cancer in the ass’ and beat this thing. I will be there with my camera on hand at all times, so even if she isn’t there, she will know what went on. When, not if, you come to one of the three drives, please make sure you see me so that I can take your picture.

Shari, I look forward to the next time we can share salmon sashimi, sushi pizza, shrimp tempura and more. Stay strong and healthy and I hope that with the events in the next few weeks, that you will be able to get what you need and be able to share years and years of sushi meals with me!

For everyone reading this, if you are not already on the bone marrow registry list, PLEASE do one of the following:
– join on line at http://www.onematch.ca or http://www.giftoflife.org
– come to one of the three events happening in the next few weeks at the following locations:

• October 20th – 3:30 – 8:00pm – 4700 Bathurst Street (Council House for Jewish Women)
• October 31st – 10:00 – 6:0pp – Hillcrest Mall (The bay Kids entrance)
• November 1st – 10:00 – 6:00pm – 4700 Bathurst street

To read more about Shari and her story, please check out http://www.sharismission.com

Where do I begin? This week has been a rough week all around. Not necessarily for me personally, but for people around me. There have been, I think at last count, six deaths and funerals this week for people that I know or through friends know. Not to mention, the death of a hamster and a dog. AND it is only Thursday.

The age ranges are huge – spanning from a 99 year old man to a 38 year old man. Opposite sides of the spectrum. I can somehow rationalize the passing of a 99 year old man, as someone who has lived a full life, but a 38 year old man? That is a life not yet lived.

During the eulogy, it was mentioned that we are not only grieving for the life lost, but for the life not lived. All the dreams not yet realized and all the experiences not yet experienced. It was so sad. This being said, this young man was a Princeton and Harvard Graduate who was working at the UN. He travelled to Congo and all over the world. He lived life, but for 38 years, it was not a long enough life.

I also realized that friendship doesn’t know about time. I sat in a row with people I knew over 25 years ago. Some I have crossed paths with over the years, others not. Some crossed paths with the friend who passed, and some came because there was at time in our lives that we were everything to each other. We all went, and were all affected by his life and his passing. At least I can speak for myself about that.

Just to elaborate on that time in our lives, it was BBYO (B’nai Brith Youth Organization) that linked all of us together. It fostered friendships that obviously last a life time, as well as a strong sense of community and your part in it. It is as true today as it was 25 years ago when I was in the program. I still have friends today from that time, and I think will be in my life in some aspect always.

As I have said over and over this year, I have been faced with my own mortality and now a friend’s mortality. It is very hard to imagine ‘what if’ or ‘what happens next’ and who knows when that time comes, what it will be like. I just know that I want to hang on to what I have right now and not let go.

I am trying to figure out if it is just my heightened awareness to Cancer and organ donation or has the television media just ran out of story lines and now they all seem to use it as a plot line. Why are TV shows choosing the “illness card” more and more?

1. Grey’s Anatomy – Izzie Stevens, well we all know her story. She was flatlined and ready for death at the season finale, but she signed her contract, is now a patient living with Cancer and no longer ‘surgical’. I suppose that is what happens after you finish treatment and you start to live a normal life again….is it?

2. Young and the Restless – this summer, they decided to give a beautiful young woman, with everything to live for Ovarian Cancer. And they did a REALLY bad job with it. They made her have surgery, and they had to give her a full hysterectomy, BUT they saved her eggs for harvesting with her husband in the future.

When she started her chemo, she decided to shave her head BEFORE the chemo even started. From what I witnessed first hand this summer, it wasn’t until about a week after the chemo was completed that hair starts to fall out. And I KNOW it is television, but this ‘patient’ looked good for a patient undergoing chemo.

3. Young and the Restless – used it again this past week. One patient was brain dead and another needed a heart. When they decided to end her life, they noted that she was an organ donor and they proceeded to give her heart to the sick patient.

4. Dr. Phil – a few weeks ago had on 8 donors and recipients that have given their kidney’s to others. It was also a subject on last years Grey’s Anatomy, but these surgeries actually happened.

5. Commercials – I just saw a commercial today about a child that received a bone marrow transplant for a rare condition that they had and now they are alive and well and thriving again.

6. Mercy – a new show, pretty good actually. The first episode was with an ‘older’ lady who had cancer and she was tired of all the treatments her kids were making her go through. She did not want any more procedures. Her nurse told her that she had a choice, and she could choose no more treatments.

7. Brothers and Sisters – now Kitty has been plagued with the cancer card. She has lymphomia, and on Sundays episode she had to undergo a bone marrow biopsy to confirm her condition. All of this is very real to me and what I have witnessed this summer.

I watch a lot of TV and a lot of them are dramas, so it comes with the territory, but the reality of life is enough for me, now it is in so much of what I watch. Sometimes too much. But, I will probably continue to watch, well…because I like my shows.

Did I miss any shows that you watch? leave me a message, I would like to know how many other shows out there are using the cancer or illness card in their story lines.

The reality of Shari Silverman is that she needs a bone marrow transplant. If you haven’t already done so, you need to register on line at www.onematch.ca or you need to come to one of the clinics that are being held at the end of this month. Please read this article from this week’s CJN paper – http://www.cjnews.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=17753&Itemid=86